juliawiinchester:

I’ve decided I’m only going to answer my dads texts with pictures of Ben Wyatt

honeybeehusky:

titenoute:

hiddlesherethereeverywhere:

pr1nceshawn:

Tips That Can Save Your Kid’s Life.

THIS IS IMPORTANT 

When I was a child, from the time I was about four and could understand things, my mom told me and my brother that we should have a secret word. That way, if we were ever in trouble or felt unsafe and we didn’t want the people around us to know we needed her to come get us, we could let her know. So she let us pick the word and my brother and I chose the phrase “peanut butter cups.” (I’m happy to share the phrase now since both my brother and I are adults now). 

I used the phrase twice in my life. Once, I was at a friends house when I eight years old. Her dad got really drunk and was throwing things against the wall. I was really scared and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself on the phone when I called my mom to come get me because I didn’t know if he would get more violent if I asked her to come get me. So I called her and was calm and after a couple minutes I asked “Hey mommy, did you get me those peanut butter cups from the store?” And she said “I’ll be right there.” And she came and got me within minutes. 

Second, I was a teenager spending the night at a friends house. Her brother and dad were drinking and they started talking about things that made me uncomfortable - ie: what they liked to do to women. My friend didn’t seem perturbed and said that was normal for them and that I shouldn’t worry. But I was worried because they were really drunk and I was 15 and the only ‘woman’ around that wasn’t related to them. I went in my friends room, told her I needed to call my mom and say goodnight. Before I hung up with her I asked “Next time we go to the store, can we get some peanut butters cups? I’ve been craving them.” And she came and got me, just like that. 

Two incidents, one as a young child, one years later as a teen. Don’t discredit this stuff, it fucking works. My brother used it a few times too. Let your child pick the word and no never, ever, ever, ever get mad at them for using it no matter what it is. 

DO NOT SCROLL PAST THAT.

Off topic, but very important! I was taught to yell “this is not my mom/dad.” A young kid freaking out in public is likely to be ignored out of embarrassment, but a kid telling you right out that they don’t know who is messing with them? That will turn heads.

(Source: anxioustoddlers.com)

clarknokent:

chleopatrapaige:

chocolatcrush:

closedmindsdontlearnshit:

booasaur:

Drumline (2002) 

✊🏾

Don’t let these men play with ya 🤜🏾💪🏾

I still admire this to this day.

This movie was really pretty great

thatsthat24:

Where My Focus Tends to Be 🕵️

thoodleoo:

my kink is when some asshole tries to use history to perpetuate their racist/sexist/homophobic/etc. agenda and a historian not only points out their inaccuracies but also roasts their ass

elphabaforpresidentofgallifrey:

today i visited the castle walt disney based the Famous Disney Castle on, Neuschwanstein, and learned that the king who made it, lugwig II was a gigantic fucking fanboy that built a fairytale castle bc he was obsessed with this swan knight legend, so he made this useless weird castle to sit in the mountains and look pretty and have all his favorite characters on the walls. this motherfucker built a fake grotto next to his bedroom cuz he saw it once in an opera and thought it was cool. this is like if obama really liked star wars and just built a millennium falcon he could live in. also he loved supporting artists and hired actors to go with him into the countryside and act out legends this MOTHERFUCKER WAS LARPING IN THE 1800s you nERDY fUCK. also ludwig only went out at night cuz his life was so scandalous people talked about him, so he had a carriage/sleigh combo with a battery powered light on it and rode around the bavarian countryside like the useless emo batman fuck that he was. did i mention he was bisexual and retreated into the LARGER GROTTO HE BUILT IN ANOTHER PALACE for years bc honestly what’s more relatable than building yourself an artificial grotto below a palace to be a gay recluse like the goddamn phantom of the opera? this fucking icon now has secret societies and conspiracy theories about his mystery death because only true icons create drama from the fuCKING afterlife. anyway i’ve now found my bisexual depressed fanboy bitch role model

pokemons:

when someone cracks open a cold one at a haunted house

(Source: michaela-coel)

gudroo:

moan your own name in bed as a power move

shoobie-doowop:

remember in School of Rock where the black girl was afraid to say she wanted to be a singer because she was fat and didn’t want to get laughed at but Dewey was all “who gives a shit, I’m fat too and so is aretha franklin but we’re still valuable and we rock” and then the girl felt better without having to be told that beauty comes in all sizes or some other bullshit. thats the kind of body positivity I’m looking for. tell these babies that they’re worth a damn without tying it to any other arbitrary ideals

surprisebitch:

fuocogo:

neilnevins:

hatingongodot:

neilnevins:

jgsvh5:

neilnevins:

Well I saw it. I wish I could say it was everything I expected it to be but it was worse. To summarize everything in one fluent and well-arranged thesis is too daunting a task because there’s simply too much to say about this blaspheme and so little time to properly convey it all. so here’s the main points on everything you need to know about this film

-i thought the Wreck It Ralph comparisons were bad enough but we find out Jailbreak was formerly a princess emoji but she rejected her status in favor of something more spunky and rebellious like holy shit they’re just unabashed in ripping off the beats of a superior movie.
-Sony hates millenials despite the fact that this movie was tailor-made to pander to them in the worst ways possible. Case in point, at one point the main human contemplates texting his crush and his frind tells him to only use emojis before saying in the most dude-bro way “words aren’t COOL”  at one point the teacher is talking about hieroglyphs and has to liken them to “the original emojis” because the students don’t want to learn any other way! they’re too obsessed with their phones! they have no attention spans! get it? GET IT?
-ADDING ONTO THAT! what is the message of this film? it doesn’t have one! there’s a scene where we see the main human deleted an email of lyrics/poetry he wrote for his crush but he deleted it because as his friends say WORDS AREN’T COOL. and you think “oh. the message will be that teens need to actually talk to each other more and express their feelings whatever” but oh no no no this is THE EMOJI MOVIE we’re talking about and the climax of the film is resolved by Gene (the main emoji) using his multiple faces to make the first emoji composed of multiple feelings back to back and gets sent to the crush who says “wow! I loved your emoji! it’s so nice to see a guy who’s willing to express his feelings” WHAT THE HELL? SO YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE FUN OF YOUTH FOR USING EMOJIS BUT ULTIMATELY EMOJIS SAVE THE DAY?
-ALSO THE HUMAN IS A FUCKING NERD WHO DECIDES TO TAKE HIS PHONE TO THE TECH STORE TO DELETE EVERYTHING JUST BECAUSE ONE EMOJI DOESN’T WORK
-There’s a stupid subplot about Gene’s meh parents having a falling out but it’s okay because they reconcile inside Instagram by hijacking a romantic photo and using the right filter
-TJ Miller touted the film as having a feminist positive message and let me tell you this is what it is. In Candy Crush, Gene finished one of Jailbreak’s sentences when she has an idea and out of nowhere Jailbreak yells “MEN ARE ALWAYS GETTING CREDIT FOR WOMEN’S IDEAS AND I’M SICK OF IT!” it comes immediately and ends abruptly. Gene doesn’t respond to it and Jailbreak doesn’t build onto that. the subject ends there. 10 minutes later Jailbreak says out of nowhere that in the early days emoji women only had the choice to be “princesses or brides” but that in the cloud she can be whatever she wants to be. again, this is never brought further or built upon. it feels so tacked on and barely even surface level like fuck they patted themselves on the back for this progressive-ass movie
-speaking of progressive, an internet troll calls the Just Dance lady a g***y. so yeah, add a slur usage to the list of offenses
-they go to Dropbox? Becuase kids love using Dropbox????
-Gene creates a new dance. The Emoji Bop. yes there is a dance party ending. 
-Someone tells Poop that he’s going soft. Patrick Stewart had to say the following line. “Not too soft, I hope” 
-Jailbreak in her princess form whistles and summons a twitter bird
-they go into youtube which has viral videos that are in live action and it’s super disorienting
-because this is a Sony movie, everyone uses Sony smart phones
-the 15 year old human has one of those fake-out apps that looks like a dictionary to his parents but it’s meant to hide like porn and illegal downloads so yeah fun for the whole family 
-if there’s one and I mean ONE good thing about the film it’s short. like barely 70 minutes. and yet that still feels like too long

The Emoji Movie is what you get when you have too much money. and nothing else. wait for a camrip online before watching it ironically. please please do not give this money. please. please. please please pleaskd qn

And yet……..YOU gave it money

I used a free movie pass. I worked at a theater and have 62 of them. Sony didn’t get a dollar from me

“They judge me before they get to know me”

-Shrek (2001)

@neilnevins how did you recover from this

I bought an entire coffee cake and wallowed in despair at the state of mainstream animation

Now nobody needs to see it ever thank you for your work,

Not all heroes wear capes

woodelf68:

awesome-picz:

Seals Are Actually Ocean Puppies.

Myth: Confirmed!

(Source: localstarboy)

towongfoo:

If I dont respond to your insult it means what i wanted to say was too mean and I decided to let you live

exaltedviolinist:

madnessbanned:

THIS IS THE CUTEST SHIT IVE EVER WITNESS